The Construction of A Walk in Her Shoes

With only less than six weeks left of my undergraduate journey, I have begun to wrap up my research that has been with me for almost two years. Learning how to become a researcher was one of the most challenges aspects of this wonderful journey. Research was never an interest to me, but when I discovered the Ronald McNair program, I knew it was a perfect opportunity to strengthen my skills.

The end is near, and it is very bitter-sweet. It's amazing to see the results of all the hard work I've put into my project, but it's also sad to see it end. It's become so normal to have my research project in the back of my mind, so I know once it's finished, I will feel like I'm missing something.

For this blog post, I have decided to talk about my research results and focus on what my participants had to say. My participants are the reason this project was made possible, and for them I am so grateful. Four out of the five participants were going into their senior year at UW-Eau Claire, so they were able to talk about three years of experience. My fifth participant was in her sophomore year at UW-Eau Claire, so she had a full year of experience to reflect on. Three of them came from predominately white hometowns, and two of them came from a diverse hometown. Every participant was so unique and had such a valid story to tell. I thank them for trusting me and allowing me to get to know them on such a deep level.

The participants who came from predominately white hometowns had a very different story to tell, starting from a young age.

"“I grew up in a really small town. I was the only Black African American in my high school, so I would say I stood out. I am mixed so I’m not as dark but coming to Eau Claire, I knew it was going to be a predominantly White university, it didn’t bug me because I came from a predominately White town and my mom is white so I was kind of used to it.”

“Something I have noticed now and have been navigating or unlearning, so to say, I feel like I grew up with a lot of internalized racism which is something I have been, it’s been a process to unlearn. It’s like you know when you are younger and all your peers around you… all your mentors, friends are white, you just want to fit in, you know. You do whatever you can to fit in with your friends’ lifestyles. I think it kind of just came down to, like, rejecting my culture. I did not have an interest in learning Spanish, now I obviously do, but when I was younger, I was like ‘no, none of my friends do this, why would I?’ I would never invite my friends over; I would be so embarrassed if my parents showed up (to school events) and I did not want to associate with them.”

"I didn’t really know I was a person of color until I came to Eau Claire. My hometown is really diverse and White people are definitely the minority. I don’t know, I just never really considered it an issue because it wasn’t really an issue and I think I’ve learned a lot more like why my skin color is important and why me being a person of color is important coming to college."

“I would say I’m very lucky in the fact that that’s how I grew up. I got to interact with so many people. It wasn’t until I came to college where I would pick out like ‘there’s another student of color.’ I’ve never had done that before and coming here (UWEC) I knew it was a predominately white institution and, in the beginning, I was like fine, and I still am with it. It’s given me opportunities to help learn about myself but also like teach others what it means to be a minority but at the same time, I had never been in the position where I had to teach others about what it means to be a minority.”

Asking about their childhood environment really helped me, as a researcher, analyze their experience at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire. In order for me to understand their challenges and struggles at our PWI, it was essential to go back to the start of their life and get to know them as a person and not as a number at a university.

Other fascinating quotes I got from my participants include:

“I knew there would be challenges to face, especially being on your own. One of the biggest things is having honestly with myself. I am coming in… like I come from a pretty poor household, so I knew it was going to be on me. If I want to succeed, I know it is going to be by myself. Having no one that looks like you or can talk to you is very hard. “

“I’ve had all male professors and it’s more intimidating to speak more in class. Sometimes you’re just very aware that you’re the only one, specifically Woman of Color in the room so I can be very intimidated, but it’s just fine.”

“I feel like I’m more open to a wider array of things because I have experienced so many different cultures, whereas some of my friends that grew up in a predominately white neighborhoods or white towns, they don’t have that.”

“I feel like I just had to get used to it (the lack of diversity) and it’s definitely open me up to different situations and like I’m grateful for the experiences I’ve had and being able to deal with a place that’s not as diverse instead of like just going in the workforce and like expecting everything to be super diverse."

Although my research paper is not complete, I thought sharing some thoughts was a good idea for my blog post this month. Creating a paper that is structured around my participants is my biggest priority. By the end of the month of April I am hoping to finalize my paper.